Helen had high hopes from college life, but was left completely disillusioned. She found that there was too much stress on learning and no time for self-analysis or introspection, The pupils were trained in cramming the lessons and the process of understanding and relating with the lesson was completely missing. The predominant thought in the minds of the pupils was written tests and the exams. There was too much of choice with too little use of it. She found the pattern to be completely disorganized and non-synchronized. Helen felt that she was a bull in a China shop. Here China shop refers to the examination system. According to Helen, before an examination she had to go through many different aspects of study due to which her mind became overburdened with heterogeneous matter which would almost disappear while attempting an exam. She tried to remember the points and jot down to put them into order but unfortunately she could not make head and tail out of it. It seemed as if the answers had been ** deep in the pool of thoughts of mind and searching for them equated looking for a bit of silk in a rag bag.
She felt examinations to be the 'chief bugbears of my college life'. She always found her courage oozing out at her finger' ends. During exams, the days are spent in cramming one' mind with mystic formulae, indigestibie dates which she considered as unpalatable diets. The dreaded hour i.e., the examination hour is the most perplexing as one' memory and the sense of discrimination takes wings and fly away. That' why she never liked examinations.
